"I always knew that the moment I held my baby in my arms for the first time I’d feel love like never before. What I didn’t know was that with great love, comes paralyzing fear and massive guilt. Wasn’t quite prepared for that." - read more posted in Honor of BabyCenter's Guilt-Free Parenting Week. So here are the things I won't feel guilty about as a new mom:
1. Making Mistakes. (At least I'll try not to feel guilty.) This is my first baby so I'm going to make mistakes. Example: We took Sweet Pea to the park on Sunday. It was windy and sunny. We forgot a sun hat. I rocked her to sleep on the swing, making sure to cover her face, and then I put her in her stroller so the wind and sun would be off her. As they say, 'You live and learn.'2. Breastfeeding. Sometimes I have to nurse in public. My baby doesn't take a bottle from me. And I am a terrible pumper (or it could be my pump). Why would she when mommy is so close by? She is also already developing a stranger anxiety with people she doesn't see often (I didn't know they developed it this early but apparently they do). So please explain to me what I'm suppose to do? I cover up and it's the most natural thing in the world. All mammals do it. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, don't look.
3. Passing her off to Daddy when he gets home from work. Two reasons this doesn’t bother me: One, being the only caregiver all night and day is tiring, and I am appropriately exhausted by the time someone else walks in the door, and two, I know daddy misses his baby time as much as Sweet Pea misses her daddy time. :]
4. Not Doing Housework. I won’t feel guilty about putting my baby before my housework. Some things are more important in life. She will only be this age once, the housework will still be there.5. Letting her be a Kid. I will not feel guilty about her watching TV or eating out every once in a while when she gets older. I did when I was a kid and so did my husband and we are capable, functioning adults. I will raise my kid and not have the TV do it for me. I will not feel guilty about letting her get dirty and be a kid. Jumping in puddles is dirty and fun. And as I said before they are only this age once.
6. Co-sleeping. Nursing has been great for us so far but I was completely incapable of sitting up to nurse at 12, 2, 4, and 6 when she was a newborn. We figured out the side-lying nursing thing and haven’t looked back. Now she doesn't sleep in our bed the entire night like she did when she was a newborn but I enjoyed every minute of it when she did and I actually miss it now.
7. My Birth Story. Lastly, I was induced because of my blood pressure, I had an epidural because I'm a wuss. I only wanted my husband in there with me because no one was there when we created her. I love my birth story and no one is going to make me feel guilty or try to steal my joy about it one way or the other. And that is that.So mommas or soon-to-bes, what are some things you refuse to feel guilty about?
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ReplyDeleteI'd add- my messy floors, my insistence on a BREAK in the afternoon (naptime and quiet time!) and the fact that I rarely wear make up! :)
Emily
www.weakandloved.com
PS I almost named my son "epidural" because I loved mine so much :)
I agree. I like to use my 'break' to have some me time. Messy floors and laundry can wit.
DeleteI refuse to feel guilty about CIO because my girls are now excellent and independent sleepers although I had a lot of criticism from people and it was hard at the time.
ReplyDeleteWhat people don't understand is, what works for one may not wok or everyone. :)
DeleteI refuse to feel guilty for having a full time job (even though it's hard sometimes). I know a lot of mommies stay home with their babies, and I wish we were able to afford that luxury - but we simply cannot. So I will not feel guilty for being a working mom. This also leads to having to encourage myself to not feel guilty for a messy home, laundry un-done, and snuggling my baby the few short hours I have her at night.
ReplyDeleteI see it as I'm doing what's best for her now. She needs me to be at work :)
Stopping by from Mommy Moments!
http://mrsvolnoff.blogspot.com/2012/09/shopping-with-infant.html
You are doing what is best for your family. Working shows great character and you have to buy food, clothes, shelter, etc. great job, mama.
DeleteAlso we can't afford for me to work. I would only be able to get a job that basically paid for child care and the gas. I would actually love to go back.
DeleteLove your post! I found your blog over at The Life of Faith blog hop today. Nursing in public was hard for me too..I almost always resorted to the car or a fitting room. It always works out and is so worth it (we're still bf at 15 months..only once a day..but still!)!!
ReplyDeleteGreat work! She self-weaned at 14 months. We both miss it but it was what was best for us. I usually nursed in the car too. I loved my body so it was just more convenient.
DeleteI love this! I had to be induced because of preeclampsia and I got an epidural too, so our birth stories sound really similar. I agree, there is nothing to feel guilty about! That day is one of the best days of my life, and I'm happy with the way the whole thing went down because it brought my son here safe and healthy!
ReplyDeleteI not think anyone hold try and make someone feel guilty or take the joy away from bringing another life into the wold. Believe it or not, I actually had family try and take my joy about my decisions. And all they did was push themselves further away.
DeleteGreat post! Not a wuss! Birth is HARD WORK! I'm sure you did great!!! following you :) :)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thebees3.blogspot.com/
Thank Hun. Checking you out now. :)
DeleteDiana, you should feel no shame in breastfeeding in public. Thankfully here we have no cultural disdain for it, so there are breasts out all over the place (even on public busses crammed full of ppl. I don't feel guilty that my baby still hasn't had sugar. The family gets on our case from time to time about it, but as long as she's healthy & loving her veggies, there's no reason for me to give her sugar. Thanks for visiting & linking up with me this week.
ReplyDeleteI think that's amazing. I had opposition about what I fed my baby as well. But it seems what they don't understand is I have read and done my research and know why I am talking about.
DeleteThanks for hosting!
I love this! No shame at all and love your honesty! We should all be doing whatever we like and forget about what society thinks.
ReplyDeleteMy first baby was born 2 weeks after my 18 birthday. I wished I could have read this back then!! I felt guilty about a lot of things all the way down to keeping her when she was born! After a few more babies I felt less guilty and more confident in my abilities. We are bound to make mistakes, but let’s learn from them too. Pin worthy for sure! Thank you for sharing! Be safe!!
ReplyDeleteWow, I just realized this post is nine years old and the newborn is your daughter that I see in so many of your photos. Clearly, you did something right because she looks like a happy child!
ReplyDelete