This is a sponsored guest post.
There is no single guide that can help you parent your child. As much as you wish there was, you must make your own decisions when it comes to raising your little one. Perhaps one of the biggest conflicts that you will have is how permissive (or protective) you should be. Parents often argue about this- but it is hard to find the balance. Here is what you should consider on each side.
The Permissive Parenting Style
The main goal of the permissive parenting style is to show your child the most love that you can, with the intention of receiving this love in return. This often comes across more as a friendship than as a parental-child relationship. Some common things that you will see in an over-permissive parent’s relationship with their child include:
● Little to no demands to act responsibly or behave
● Tolerant attitude toward impulses including aggression, sexual wants, or material wants
● Uses bribery or gifts to get the child to perform the wanted activity/behavior
● Tolerant attitude toward impulses including aggression, sexual wants, or material wants
● Uses bribery or gifts to get the child to perform the wanted activity/behavior
The Protective Parenting Style
The main goal of the protective parenting style is to protect your child from harm. This can include everything from refusing to let them go out because you don’t want them to go out to shielding them from stress in your life so they think the world is great. Over-protective parents are often very strict though they do it out of love for their child. Some common things that you will see in an overprotective parent’s relationship with their child include:
● Constant hovering over a child’s activities
● Refusing to let the child go out with friends
● Protecting the child from financial struggles or marriage problems
● Refusing to let the child go out with friends
● Protecting the child from financial struggles or marriage problems
Over-Permissive vs. Over-Protective
Each style of parent will have their own argument for why their style is better. However, is it really better to be over anything?
The major disadvantage of being over-permissive is that your children may not learn to respect you. Instead of listening when you request something (as they should), they may choose to do (or not to do) the activity. Additionally, if you use bribery or gift giving to get your children to do things like clean their room or go over to their grandparents for dinner, then they will not do as requested when the bribery is not present- especially if they do not want to do whatever it is. While it is more likely that your children will be honest about their lives outside of the home because they view you as a friend, your authority will do little to prevent them from making bad decisions.
The major disadvantage of being over-protective is that your children will not learn anything. Parents who are over-protective are often guilty of not allowing their child to try new things or to go out and play because they are afraid that they will be hurt or see something inappropriate. It is important to remember that you cannot baby your child forever. They have to learn to explore on their own or they may become very dependent. Also, when it comes time for them to enter the real world, they will not be adequately prepared because they were sheltered their entire life.
In Conclusion
In all honesty, it is very likely that there are major flaws with over-protective parenting and over-permissive parenting. Instead of focusing on one or the other, you should aim to find a middle ground. Give your child room to explore, but expect that they will respect you. Also, allow them to go out and have fun (even if it seems dangerous) but remind them that they need to take care of their responsibilities first. Finding the balance seems to be the best parenting style overall.
If you are first time parent, you can always seek advice from other parents or even your local pediatrician, such as the ones at Night Lite Pediatrics, on ways you can help bring your child up in a safe, yet non-overbearing way.
Lautaro Martinez is a freelance writer and family man who contribute articles and insights on a variety of topics from parenting issues and children's health to travel and tourism.
Im pretty good at finding a happy medium I think!! Somedays are better than others lol... but all over I think Im a pretty good mix of protective and passve. Far from perfect though!!
ReplyDeleteI think I am pretty protective of my children, but I am trying not to worry about them so much!
ReplyDeletenothing wrong with either way.....but sometimes I think I'm a bit much lol
ReplyDeleteI was overly protective about my own children and now they are overly protective about theirs. It is called survival of the fittest. It is our job to be this way. When I see young mothers talking on cell phones and not holding their small child's hand, I want to scream. This happened on a busy street!
ReplyDeleteI hope to be somewhere in between the two styles. I like to think that as a teacher I was in the middle, but I'm not so sure. It's tough to keep that balance, especially when you take into account different ages and personalities.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to be objective about yourself, and each child is different. You may think you are one way, but others may think otherwise. Kids can get into so much danger it is good to be careful, so I guess I lean toward towards overprotective.
ReplyDeleteOver the years, I have seen many different parenting skills. I have mixed feelings about them all. One I definitely don’t agree with is physical abuse! Years ago, when I was a single mom, I was friends with another single mom who lived in the same apartment building. She was young and had a little girl. I know she loved her daughter, but whenever she got flustered or her little girl was bad, she went ballistic. She didn’t have anyone else to take her frustrations on. I think this also has something to do with single parenting. It’s not the child’s fault. I made an anonymous phone call on her just to make some wellness checks. Anyway I knew way too many permissive parenting and I never agreed with it. In my opinion, that’s why there are too many disrespectful kids and teens out there! I believe if you spare the rod, you spoil the child. I raised my children to know that there will be consequences/reactions to there action. I raised them to do things God’s way! His way is the best! I am trying to pin this, but something is not letting me. I’ll try a couple of more times. Thank you for sharing!
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