Nanny to Mommy

One of a parent’s many jobs is to prepare their child to be a successful adult. It’s important to give them enough information and advice to steer them in the right direction, but also important not to go too far and start telling them exactly what to do. How can you prepare your child for a successful adult life?

Stepping back from your child’s life is a crucial element of allowing them to be a successful adult. It’s also potentially the most challenging thing that a parent can ever be asked to do because they have been there, looking out for their child, from the day they were born.

Stepping back can be difficult because of how full-on parents have to be in the early years. However, stepping back does not mean stepping away. You don’t need to check out entirely; you don’t need to – and shouldn’t – ignore what is going on in your child’s life. It just means letting your teenager make their own appointments, for example, and stick to them without you ‘nagging’ at them to go. If they miss it, then it’s a good lesson learned. You need to strike a balance between letting your child develop and ensuring they do everything required of them when required.

As your child grows, especially as they become a teenager, they will become more and more ready to make their own decisions. It doesn’t mean they will always get it right, but adults don’t always get it right either. The point is that if the parent is making all the decisions for the child, then they will never learn what it is they really want or feel. If allowed, they might move in an entirely different direction to what the parent had envisioned for them, but that’s okay. They need to make their own choices in life.

If they make a mistake, be there for them, pick them up and help them stand on their feet again. You can still give advice – if they want to move out of home, you can advise them to use a reputable moving firm or know where to go for 24 hour AC service if it’s needed, for example. If they want to go out partying you can give them the number of a good taxi firm so that you know they can get back safely – but don’t tell them what to do, as this can result in them doing the complete opposite.

If you want your child to be a successful adult, you need to be a good role model for them. If you don’t live a healthy lifestyle, for example, then it’s time to start, or your child may not see any reason why they should either. Whereas in the past, it might have been a case of ‘do as I say, not as I do’, that will need to change as your child grows older. You could even join a class together, or go running, or start a healthy eating regime. Whatever it is, if you can show your child that you’re doing your best, and trying to be as successful as possible, then they will want to follow suit.